Feeling Good

So things seem to be coming together a bit.  I have started focusing more on myself and less on what is going on with everyone around me.  I am focusing on my own personal weaknesses and correcting them when I catch myself doing these things.  I have been pushing past my mental blocks and taking more risks when sparring.  It feels good.  By not putting so much pressure on myself during class it is allowing me to enjoy rolling more and I am actually preforming better!


In Judo class Tuesday I land and ippon drop seoi nage against James!  And I tried for many other throws against him, Andrew, and Victor (black belt Judo instructor).  Even though I knew there was no way I was going to be able to throw Victor I still tried, and if I got thrown in the process (which I did...a few times) that was okay because I was being offensive and aggressive.

Last night I actually surprised myself -- I did things that I thought I couldn't do.  I swept a bigger, stronger opponent from my half guard, I swept a bigger, stronger guy from deep half, I used the technique we learned in class during the guard rotation, I landed submissions.  I felt like the mental blocks were gone and I was in the zone.  I didn't want to stop training, but class had already run overtime and we were preventing the muay thai class from starting.

My confidence is starting to reach the level it should already be at.  I am feeling really good about going into these upcoming tournaments.  Grappler's Quest Beast of the East this Saturday in New Jersey, and the IBJJF New York Open next Saturday. :-D

Check these items out on Amazon -- These are some great books, and the Gameness Platinum Weave Gi is the one I use for competition : )

Hitting a Plateau

Do you ever feel like you've hit a plateau?  Like you are just stagnating at a certain level?  Like no matter what you do you just can't seem to improve your weaknesses?

This is how I feel right now.  I know all the things I need to do but I just can't seem to make my game change.  I need to make my mind think quicker and retain more knowledge...but I can't figure out how to make it do this.  I learn things in class, drill them, and understand them, but as soon as the day is done I seem to forget how to execute them.  I spar and my coach yells for me to do things but by the time his voice processes through my head and I think of what he is saying the opportunity is gone.  I see openings but by the time my head processes what to do the openings are gone.

....I have my good collar grip, I'm breaking the posture, I'm going for the choke -- he postures waaay back -- ooh, I should hip bump sweep.....

Do I get it? NO.  By the time this thought gets to my brain the opportunity is gone. 

It's the same with transitions.  I know how to transition from one thing to the next....but when I spar my mind seems to forget.  I shoot a triangle, they posture.  I know I should switch off to an armlock or an omaplata but do I do it? Of course not.  The thought doesn't even seem to cross my mind.

WHY??? I don't understand this.  I have been doing jiu-jitsu for years, why am I having so much trouble all of sudden?  I need to be quicker and transition faster.  I know these things, but why can't I do them?

No matter how hard I try, it doesn't seem to be enough.  The harder I push myself the more I seem to shut down.  I go into class thinking about my weaknesses with the plan to conciously think about them and try to fix them.  I try, and try, and try, and the harder I try without results the more frustrated I get.  I push myself more, I tell myself to relax and not get upset, but I can't.  I go insane.

I feel lost...

I don't know what to do to take myself to the next level...

I need help...

I hate being sick :(

Training has been at a stand still for the past week.  I got pretty sick last week and couldn't train in fear of getting my teammates sick too.  I ended up leaving work early on Friday and sleeping for the following 14 hours.  I had a fever and felt awful.  I dragged myself out of bed for my Mom's birthday party on Saturday.  It was fun, we went bowling :-)  but it was hard.  I was so tired after that, I went home, got back in bed and didn't get out again until yesterday morning  for work.  (Thank goodness it was a holiday and we opened at 8am instead of 5am!) 

I am finally starting to feel okay enough to start working out again.  I think I may just do some cardio today, maybe the stairs for 30 minutes and then sit in the sauna to loosen up all the gunk in my lungs.  I hate not being able to train.  I have so many goals for this year, but if I keep getting injured or sick they are going to be hard to fulfill.  I need to start dieting again - Valentine's Day and then getting sick has caused me to eat a lot of junk.  Dieting is just so hard.  Especially when everyone around you is NOT dieting and eating anything they want.  What am I supposed to do when everyone is going out to Chipotle for lunch!?  I can do it, I just need to get back into the swing of things.  Once you get past those first two weeks it gets easy, it becomes a habit.


I hate not being active.  I am feeling fat and lazy and I can't stand it!!!!!!  I NEED BJJ BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Great rolls last night :-)

Class was great last night.  We drilled for an hour and 15 minutes, followed by 15 minutes of guard rotations, and 30 minutes of sparring.  I really tried to step it up last night, and I'm pretty sure it showed to all my teammates too.

One of my weaknesses is that in class I tend to accept things during rolling that would be unacceptable during competition...getting swept, mounted, or letting someone take my back.  Last night I put my head in tournament mode.  I refused to accept anything; if I did get put in a bad position I escaped.  I was heavy from the top and aggressive from my back.  I rolled hard right down to the last second of every round.  With 13 seconds left in one round I shot a triangle and almost put my teammate to sleep.  My gi was soaked completely through; it was awesome.

Thanks to everyone that rolled with me last night, and previous nights, helping me to get ready for the tournament this weekend.  I will make you all proud!



P.S.  I started dieting again - trying to get to 147 for Pan Ams and Worlds - I am down 3lbs :-D

My knee is almost better..

Last night I jumped in the guard rotation!  It was great!  I hadn't rolled in almost three weeks due to my knee.  I was a little hesitant at first because there were a lot of new guys in class...and we all know how spastic new people can be!  I ended up jumping in about half way through, I just couldn't take sitting on the sideline any longer.  It felt so good to roll around again.  Three weeks may not seem long to some of you, but anyone who does BJJ knows how much that can sucks!  That was the longest break I've taken off of jiu-jitsu in probably two years! 

Due to this break in training, I will not be participating in the CopaNova tournament this Saturday, but I will still be there to support the guys on the team that will be competing, and to coach my kids team!  We have about 5 adults and 4 kids competing.  Good luck to them all!

Post Christmas Plans

Christmas was great!  I got to spend the entire day with my family.  I got great presents, including my brand new Black Gameness Feather Gi!!! Thanks Dave :-*  This is my first black gi, which I plan on doing BJJ in tonight! My knee is feeling a lot better!  I haven't rolled in almost 2 weeks now.  I am so excited to train tonight....light rolling of course.  Hopefully it will feel fine and I'll be able to get enough training in, in order to do CopaNova on the 8th. 

January 1st, my diet starts again.  I need to be 147lbs for Pan-Ams and I don't want to have to cut any weight, or crash diet the week before to get to my weight.  So the diet and exercise start Saturday, January 1st, 2011!  I am actually pretty excited about it.

The 1st half of 2011 is going to be exciting with all the tournaments I'll be competing in!  I need to save money for travel expenses and entry fees (excluding GQ...FREE TOURNAMENTS FOR LIFE!)  Pam-Ams and Worlds are in California so those will be the two most expensive ones; the rest should be easy to finance.  I need to look for some sponsorships.....

I was thinking about asking Gameness for a sponsorship.  All I train and compete in is Gameness anyway so I am pretty much already promoting their product.  I love Gameness gis too, they fit me perfectly and I've never had any problems with them...so encouraging others to get them would be easy too because I believe in what I would be telling people.  Gameness is the only brand we sell here at the gym and we carry every style they have...and I personally own 2 platinum, 1 elite, and 1 feather.  I think I might just have to apply for that sponsorship......I'll talk to Dave first and see what he thinks.... :-D


Well, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!  Now it's time to train!!!!!!

Strained MCL

My right knee has been bothering me for the past few weeks...nothing big, just a nagging irritation.  After Wednesday night class last week though, my knee started to bother worse than usual.  I'm not sure what did it, but by Friday morning I was hobbling around not wanting to put too much pressure on that leg.  I only got to watch Friday noon class and Friday night class I drilled a little.  Saturday, I had to watch again.  Last night I warmed up (minus the laps) and drilled with class.  The knee didn't hurt too much; the knee pad definitely helps.  When it was time for sparring I had to go sit on the side.  It is so hard to just watch everyone roll!  I cant remember that last time I went this long without being able to roll!

Dave thinks it's my MCL and that we can rehab it pretty easily.  I need to bring an ice-pack to work so I can alternate ice with the heating pad.  I can't even do cardio!  I am so starting to feel fat and I hate it!  Hurry up and get better knee!!!!!!!

Back to Strength & Conditioning

Yesterday I did strength and conditioning training with Josh, at Manassas Ironworks, for the first time in weeks!  I haven't been very excited about PT sessions lately but I was inspired by a video Josh showed me.  It is quite amazing, and it makes you never want to complain about having it tough ever again!



I didn't really want to before we started, but once we got into it I remembered how much I actually liked it.  Yes,  I like it, actually, I think I love it!  It's always hard coming back after taking time off from something, but after the first few days back, it becomes easy again..almost like a habit.  Before yesterday I had been lifting once a week and doing cardio a couple days a week.  That's just not enough though, especially if I want to compete as often as I do!  So on top 6 days of BJJ training and 1 day of lifting, I am going to add back 2-3 days of hard core conditioning and a extra cardio on my own.

But anyway, yesterday was my first day back...I did all 10 SuperSlow machines, and 15 rounds of tabata on the rower! Ugh, talk about hard!  My body felt like jello after that, but I felt great and I was happy that I had gone through with the workout.

Later I taught the Kids BJJ class.  There were only a five kids in class! Geez!  I let one of the upper belts warm up the class and then I had them drill the Americana and the Triangle.  They all did a pretty good job :-)

Class ended at 7:00pm and Judo had been canceled, so I actually got out of the gym before 7:30!!!

Training last week was good.  We went over sweeps from the half guard, passes from the half guard, and sweeps from deep half.  Sparring was good, but I'm still not aggressive enough.  I actually got yelled at by my coach on Saturday for being too relaxed while I was sparring!  :(  I took it up a notch after that...sometimes I don't even realize that I am being "too nice" while I roll.   I think my two biggest weaknesses are not being aggressive enough, and being too accepting of things.  I REALLY need to work on these!

Everyday before class I should read my post The Winning Mentality to get my mind straight.

Getting Ready for Grappler's Quest

REGISTER FOR TOURNAMENT ✓
BOOK/PAY FOR HOTEL ✓
MAKE WEIGHT X

As of Monday I was 8lbs overweight for Grappler's Quest this Saturday!  NOT GOOD!

Monday I started to diet, did two hours of BJJ class, and lifted.

Tuesday I continued to diet, did another 2 hours of BJJ, and 1 hour of Judo.  I was way too sore from Monday's lifting to do any additional cardio.

Wednesday I stuck to the diet, did 25 minutes on the step mill, 25 minutes on the treadmill, 2 hours of BJJ class, followed by 1 straight hour of rolling with myself in the middle the entire time.  It was exhausting, but I loved it.

This morning I weighed myself and I am still overweight by 4.5lbs.  This afternoon I plan of doing 1-2 hours of BJJ, maybe some cardio, and 1 hour of Judo.

Tomorrow I should be down another pound or two, and hopefully I will only need to sweat out a couple pounds!

Next time I am going to start the weight loss process a bit earlier.

I've Been Lazy...

So over the Thanksgiving holiday (Thursday - Sunday) I didn't train or workout at all! Originally I thought this was a bad thing considering I have a tournament this weekend, but now I believe I got some much needed time off.

Thursday I completely pigged out for Thanksgiving. It was a great day overall and we got to take home LOTS of leftovers :-)

Friday I stayed home all day, in my pajamas, in my bed, and did absolutely nothing that involved much effort - it felt so good! Dave and I had planned on going shopping early for all the Black Friday deals, but we didn't wake up until after 11 so we decided to just stayed home and relax. And somehow ALL of the Thanksgiving leftovers vanished that day.... 0:-)

Saturday was pretty much the same as Friday up until the evening when I dragged Dave out shopping with me. I felt sort of bad because I was kinda just browsing around with nothing in particular on my mind to buy and Dave looked totally bored...so, we headed over to the tools department of Sears! And after that we were back off to our house to relax again!

Sunday was another all-day pajama day! I slept till 1:00pm. Totally awesome. I don't even think I looked at my phone that day.

Then it was back to reality on Monday, which I didn't mind too much. Waking up at 4:15am was easier than I thought it would be. Work wasn't all that bad. Jiu-Jitsu class was good, and I rolled pretty well. I even did Super Slow before heading home, which I am extremely sore from!

After a while you can get worn out and unmotivated from being in a place sooo much, even if it is a place you love. It is good to get away from things every once-in-a-while, even if it is just away to the privacy of your bedroom. So I must say, my long, lazy weekend was quit nice!

....but now I am so ready and happy to be training again! 4 days felt like forever!

Frustration and Perseverance

Frustration: a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be.                -Wikipedia


It's hard sometimes being the only female in the school, and not just a female, but a blue belt as well.   Every white belt wants to catch a blue belt, and no guy wants to get beat by a girl. Because of this my technique must be sharper, my drive to win must be stronger, my mind cannot get frustrated. The better I get, the more everyone wants to smash me. The better I get, the harder it is for the white belts to do anything to me.  The better I get, the greater the power gets that is used against me.

Last night I was reminded of this.  It seemed like the more I wanted it, and the harder I pushed, the tougher the fight became.  Nothing I did seemed to be working and I was getting extremely frustrated.  Everyone was sweeping me or passing my guard and frustration was taking over my mind.  Everyone felt so powerful, and I felt so weak.  My breathing started to get rapid and heavy, almost like a panic.  I felt my eyes watering up, but I couldn't let myself cry.  You can never let yourself cry...at least not in front of anyone.  You cannot let any weakness show through.  I continued to spar with increasing frustration and when class ended and I left the cage, went into my room (I have a private room at the gym) and the tears started falling.  Women are emotional beings, and when I get emotionally overwhelmed I tend to cry.  I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was crying because of how badly I wanted every move I attempted, and failed to execute.

I pulled myself together after about 10 minutes, painfully replayed the sparring through my head, figured out where I made mistakes, and told myself I needed to work to fix these mistakes, and not get frustrated next time.   Persistent hard work is what will get my through days like these, and bring me to success in the future.



Perseverance: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.

I wish everyday could be like this!

Yesterday I got to sleep in til noon, work for two hours, and then train for the rest of the day. What a life!

Immediately after getting off worked I changed into my gi and got ready for a two hour training session with my strength and conditioning coach, Josh Wehrmann. First I gave him a hour long one-on-one BJJ lesson, followed by 30 minutes of non-stop sparring, then he put me through a grueling 30 minute personal training session!

Drilling cross mount transitions with a 400 lbs man on top of you is pretty rough, my ribs are sore and my skin raw from the grind of his shoulder pressure on my face. But can I complain? No way! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? If I can handle 400 lbs driving into my jaw now, then anyone I compete against will feel like nothing.

Rolling was great! The sweat was rolling off my face, and believe it or not, Josh was doing the same. That's right, Josh, my 400 lbs partner, rolling with a 160 lbs girl, was sweating bullets. I took the advice from my post yesterday and rolled hard, telling myself I could beat him. Did I tap him? No, but I did put him in a triangle, and dominated the positional game. Never underestimate the power of good technique!

After rolling I got a short break before starting my conditioning. I ate an apple for some extra carbs (I started dieting again and I didn't want low blood sugar to effect my training), I put my tennis shoes on, and headed to the PT room. I was asked on a scale of 1-10 how bad I wanted it....i said 9. Three six minute rounds of hell started after that. My legs were burning and my cardio was hurting. I could definitely tell that I had taken the last month and a half off from dieting and conditioning. It was rough, but I lasted, and I loved it! Then I finished it off with my dear friend, the foam roller. (And if you have ever used a foam roller before you know how bad it hurts!)

Yay, time to relax right? Wrong!

My precious, adorable, well behaved kids were waiting quietly and patiently for their instructor to arrive for Jiu-Jitsu class.......in my dreams! I walk into the room and what do I see? Six gi-less children wrestling one of the parents! Needless to say, class was interesting that night. Three more kids ended up coming during the warm up. Eventually, after a hard warm-up, they started to calm down. Drilling went well, and they were rewarded with sparring. As much as those kids drive me nuts sometimes, I gotta love them! :-)

I was supposed to do Judo class after the kids class but I was so exhausted from training with Josh that I just went home, took a shower, and watched Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (Yes, I am a dork!) before falling asleep.