I am under a lot of stress right now in my life and training is my time to just forget about everything. I leave everything behind when I step on the mats, and for the next 2 hours I am as happy as can be. The exception is when I start getting frustrated with something. Maybe the same person keeps catching me with the same move over and over, or I just can't quite get my body to move in the right way. If I allow these minor things to get to me my happy bubble feels like it bursts and all of my stressful emotions start flooding in. Next thing I know my face is getting warm and my eyes start to swell up with tears. I try so hard no to let them fall, but the moment someone says, "Hey, are you okay?", they start pouring out. I hate it, but when I am stressed out and then get frustrated that's just how my body reacts.
So please don't ask me if everything is okay, or if there is anything you can do to help. You can help by not saying anything and letting me regain my composure. W85W6PT2M28V
Boy, can I SO relate to this! I think I've only cried on the mat once, maybe twice, but it was the exact thing you are describing. Stress + bad night of training/frustration = sudden burst of emotion. I think guys worry that we are hurt if they see tears, so that's what compels them to as if we are ok .
ReplyDeleteI know the guys are trying to help, and its sweet, but it just makes me cry more when they ask. So don't worry guys, I'm not mad that you are concerned, I just want to stop the flow of tears running down my face :)
DeleteI am going to post lol, I do not know you, but I am a guy!!!! Often times I feel myself jumping to the "Are you okay?" because I feel that I would do it with anyone, not just women. Not sure if it makes a difference in how you feel, but when it comes to BJJ often times the male/female line gets blurred and I see them through my BJJ eyes, and define them by their ability rather than their gender!! In the end , male or female, I just want all my training partners to be okay :D
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point. I guess it just gets overwhelming when 3, 4, 5 people start asking if you are alright.
DeleteAnd BTW, I love this line :D
"when it comes to BJJ often times the male/female line gets blurred and I see them through my BJJ eyes, and define them by their ability rather than their gender"
Lord oh lord do I get this. I mean, been there done that. I am sending good thoughts and a hug through the blogosphere to you...:))
ReplyDeleteDag